A Wild Plan for Armageddon
In a plot that could have been lifted straight from a comic book, FTX, the famous crypto exchange, allegedly hatched a wild scheme to buy a whole island and build a doomsday bunker. Yup, you heard it right! They wanted their very own fortress of solitude!
Nauru: The Perfect Post-Apocalyptic Pad
Forget luxury condos and tropical resorts; FTX set its sights on the 8.1 square mile microstate called Nauru. A whole island nation for crypto enthusiasts? Well, isn’t that just the epitome of “Go big or go home”!
Memo Madness: 101 Ways to Survive Extinction
In a memo that could make even the most imaginative sci-fi writer blush, the FTX officer Bankman-Fried planned to construct a “bunker / shelter” for surviving the end of the world! But not just any apocalypse—a catastrophe so epic that it wipes out 50% to 99.99% of humanity. Looks like someone’s been binge-watching too many disaster movies!
Effective Altruists’ Ark
Who gets a golden ticket to this bunker paradise? The memo stated that the majority of “effective altruists” would be the chosen ones. Now, who are these effective altruists, you ask? Apparently, they’re the social do-gooders trying to save the world while making some crypto coin on the side. Talk about multitasking!
But wait, there’s more! Not content with just surviving, FTX’s grand plan included building a laboratory and creating “sensible regulation” for human genetic enhancement. Move over, Jurassic Park!
Read more: Can you trust crypto exchanges after the collapse of FTX?
Return of the Crypto Kings
Well, as you can imagine, this brilliant idea didn’t pan out. FTX’s new management took over and was like, “Hold on, folks, this madness has got to stop!” Now, they’re on a mission to recover funds from the past members, aka the “crypto kings” who dreamed of their own apocalypse-proof island.
FTX’s Dystopian Foundation
And let’s not forget the FTX Foundation—the charity arm that was supposed to handle this whole zany project. The current leadership is shaking their heads, calling the foundation’s plans “frequently misguided and sometimes dystopian.” Oops, looks like someone took “thinking outside the box” a bit too far!
The FTX Foundation once splurged $300,000 on a book about human utility function. No, it’s not a fancy coffee table book—it’s about AI systems aligning with human values. Must have been a riveting read!
Grant for Grabby Aliens
And just when you thought it couldn’t get crazier, the foundation handed out a $400,000 grant to a YouTube channel talking about “grabby” aliens. Yes, aliens that are so active they’re practically begging for attention! FTX, always aiming for the stars, even if they’re far, far away!
All’s Fair in Crypto and Apocalypse
So, what’s the moral of this outrageous tale? Well, in the wild world of crypto, anything goes! From buying islands to building bunkers, FTX’s escapades prove that truth is stranger than fiction. One thing’s for sure, when the crypto kings are involved, the line between genius and madness is thinner than a strand of hair!
P.S. If you ever see a bunch of crypto fans shopping for a private island, you’ll know they’re preparing for the worst! May the blockchain be with you!
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